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The latter indicates that you have a real issue with people that don't have those qualities - you consider them "undateable," no matter how many other good qualities they. That's the difference. Rather than a stand-up pattern on paper, he's done something unexpected, teaming up with a sociologist named Eric Klinenberg to pen something on the state of Modern Romance.
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So it would appear that we're back to the perils of disembodiment yet. If you wish to get shocked along those lines, listen to the most recent episode of the Reply All podcast, which uncovers the online vicissitudes of this phenomenon called "yellow fever".
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